


Crazy Blue

by TAFKAmayle



Series: Color-Coded [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:28:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22251118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAFKAmayle/pseuds/TAFKAmayle
Summary: Ryan is in love with his best friend. To distract himself from his friend’s new relationship, he goes to see a stripper/prostitute that goes by the name Free Bird.TW: This fic contains a Ryan Haywood character.Trigger warnings: physical abuse, serious daddy issues, short-lived daddy kink, implied abuse/assault
Series: Color-Coded [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601806
Comments: 47
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

Ryan’s eyes tracked Free’s body as he danced. It was way easier to forget about Michael when he was watching him. He wasn’t exactly graceful, but there was something about him that gave more life to his clunky motions than any other stripper Ryan had ever seen. He exuded a sort of warmth that made Ryan want to reach out and touch him. 

He was attractive and he moved like he didn’t give a single fuck. It was getting harder and harder to refuse his offers of the back room. Ryan saw him every week, but wanted to see him more. He had to force himself not to come in every day that he worked. Ray kept encouraging him to take him up on his offer, but he worried he’d become even more attached. 

He knew it was just a matter of time really. One day he’d snap and he’d take his offer and then they’d have to pry him from his cold, dead hands. That’s how it was with Michael. He was struggling not to throw Ray off the balcony at the slightest hint of them touching. He saw them kiss and immediately stormed from the building, smashed the nearest car window, and visited Free. 

He wasn’t handling Michael’s rejection as well as he was letting everyone believe. 

“Hey, handsome!” Free’s chipper voice interrupted his spiral, “This seat taken?”

He sat himself in Ryan’s lap and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Ryan wondered why he did this part. He didn’t have to coax Ryan into a private dance, but he pretended he did, cozying up to him and pressing his blue mouth on his face. Ryan looked in his eyes and felt a bit of tension leave him. Free was beautiful and his eyes were the crown jewel. _Green, just like the emerald._ Or at least they looked green. Strip club lights are shit.

“What’s you so bothered?” Free demanded, bouncing on his lap, “You look far away.”

Ryan sighed. _Great. A whore can see through me._ Free got up and took his hand. He followed easily, weaving an identical path to the one he had ten times already. Free’s room was decorated blue, just like he was. It was a tiny place, but big enough for a chair and big enough for Ryan to hold the smaller man on his lap and bury his face in his neck. 

“You’re quiet today,” Free commented, pulling out his hair tie, “More than usual.”

He brushed his hands through Ryan’s hair and Ryan relaxed into him. He didn’t know why he didn’t care where or how Free touched him. With most people, he wanted to vomit if he got near them, but Free was extremely handsy and all it ever did was relax him. Ryan didn’t understand it, but he tried not to question it either. He had a good thing, he didn’t want to ruin it.

Someone else decided to ruin it for him, by bursting through the door. He flew up, shoving Free behind him as the intruder entered the room. He squinted at them, trying to see who the hell they were. Fuck his mask wasn’t on. How had they found him? Who the hell were they?

“Move aside,” they growled, “We’re here for the bird.”

“Close your eyes,” he whispered over his shoulder.

Free looked confused, but did as he asked, even covering them with his hands. Ryan cracked his neck and twirled a knife in one hand.

“You know who I am?” He growled, dipping into the gruff Vagabond voice.

“No, and I don’t care,” the man spat, “Move aside.”

Ryan pulled his mask out and slipped it over his face. The man in question paled significantly. He was frozen where he stood as Ryan stalked towards him. Ryan looked down at him, tilting his head.

“How about now?” He taunted, “Recognize this face?”

The man whimpered like a child and Ryan gripped him around the throat.

“How many of you are there?” He questioned lowly.

“Th-three,” the man squeaked.

“That’s not nearly enough,” Ryan assured him, “Perhaps you’d like to call back up?”

The man frantically shook his head. Ryan squeezed harder around his throat and lifted him up. He gurgled, clawing at Ryan’s hand.

“This man is under my protection,” he growled, “If you ever come back here, I will hack pieces of you off until there’s nothing left, understood?”

The guy was going purple, but managed a jerky nod. Ryan dropped him.

“That goes for everyone else as well,” he warned, “So you be sure to tell your buddies, understood?”

The man nodded and backed away. Ryan closed the door with a snap and made the knife and mask disappear before turning back to Free. He was shaking a bit, but he had his hands still over his eyes. Ryan sighed. Everything was fucking ruined now. He approached him and gently tapped his shoulder. Free’s hands fell away and he launched at Ryan, nearly sending him to the floor in surprise. 

There was a knife in his hand before he realized he was being hugged. Free was hugging him. He stowed the knife and wrapped his arms around him. _Am I doing this right? Is it too tight? Where should my hands be?_ Free made a tiny noise into his shoulder and Ryan rubbed one hand in a circle on his back. _Is this... right?_

“Jesus that was so scary!” Free cried, “I thought they were going to hurt you!”

Ryan squinted at the far wall. _Me? He was...worried about me?_ Warmth flooded his chest and he squeezed him closer. Free squeezed back and Ryan felt like he was squeezing his heart as well. He was struggling to breathe properly. 

“How did you make them go away?!” Free suddenly demanded, though he didn’t pull back, “Who are you?!”

Ryan felt a coldness in his guts. He couldn’t tell him. If he did, then he’d never see him again. 

“Don’t worry,” he finally muttered.

Free snorted, but didn’t push the subject. Ryan was grateful, he really didn’t want this to get ruined. One good thing in his misery. One sparkling emerald embedded in the cold unforgiving concrete of Los Santos.


	2. Chapter 2

Something was wrong. Free was off for some reason. His grin was too plastic, his movements too forced, and he wasn’t wearing his usual blue lipstick. After the dance he came to Ryan’s spot and immediately took his hand without his usual coaxing. He weaved through on their path much more urgently than he ever had before.

As soon as Ryan was sitting in his room, Free curled up on his lap and pressed his face into Ryan’s neck. He was trembling and Ryan’s heart clenched. He put his arms around him, pulling him tight to his chest. 

He felt wetness on his neck and his own eyes stung. He held onto Free’s hip with one hand and brushed the other through his wild, disheveled hair. Free eventually relaxed into him, sniffling as his tears ran out. 

“S-sorry, I just...” He mumbled, “S-someone’s after me. I-it’s freaking me out m-more than usual.”

_More than usual? Does this happen to him a lot?_

“Who is it?” Ryan asked quietly.

_I’ll dismember them._ Free pulled back to look at him properly. 

“Why do you want to know?” He demanded, looking suspicious. 

“I’ll take care of it,” Ryan assured him, “I can get rid of them.”

Free squinted at him, frowning. 

“Why would you do that?” He pressed.

“Good question,” Ryan muttered, “I enjoy your company, I guess.”

“Who are you?” Free asked again, “You’re someone, aren’t you?”

Ryan looked away. 

“It’s better if you don’t know,” he assured him.

Free snorted and rolled his eyes.

“You daft?” he grumbled, “Just because I get whingey, doesn’t mean I’m useless.”

He held something up in front of Ryan’s face. Ryan nearly flinched as he realized it was his own gun. The muzzle pressed against Ryan’s throat and he looked up at Free’s piercing eyes. Smudged makeup, red eyes, and tears on his cheeks, but his gaze was firm. 

“Who’re you?” He growled, “Tell me or I shoot your tonsils out.”

He angled the gun upwards to aim directly at said tonsils. Ryan’s breathing hitched. _Fuck, he’s beautiful and amazing._

“I’m...Fake AH,” he finally admitted.

Free’s eyebrows came together, but he pulled the gun away from Ryan’s skin. 

“Blimey, that explains a lot,” he dismissed as he put the gun back, “Anyway, don’t worry about me.”

“I’m not,” Ryan answered, smiling softly at him, “You seem like you can handle just about anything.”

He took one of Free’s hands and kissed his knuckles as he locked eyes with him.

“But call me if you need backup,” He offered gently with a tiny smile.

“I think I will.”

~

“I changed my mind,” Ryan blurted as soon as the door closed.

Geoff raised his eyebrows. 

“Oh?” He prompted.

“Free Bird, the whore,” Ryan explained, “I want you to look into him.”

Geoff’s eyes went wide.

“Really?” He asked, surprised, “Have you fallen for him?”

Ryan felt a surge of guilt like he was cheating on Michael. He tried to shove that away.

“No,” he answered quickly and truthfully, “I do enjoy his company a great deal. But I’m concerned for his safety. Apparently someone’s after him.”

“Okay, sure,” Geoff agreed, shrugging, “I can talk to Burn, see what’s up with the kid.”

“Just...don’t mention me, okay?” Ryan requested in a tiny voice, “I don’t want him to know.”

Geoff squinted at Ryan from across the desk.

“Has he told you to fuck off?” He asked carefully.

“No, nothing like that!” Ryan assured him, “I just...didn’t tell him who I am. H-he doesn’t know I’m the Vagabond.”

A look of sympathetic understanding crossed Geoff’s face and Ryan felt his heart squeeze.

“Alright, Vagabond knows nothing,” Geoff agreed, “I’ll let you know what I hear.”

“Thank you,” Ryan said quietly, looking down, “This, uh, means a lot to me.”

He didn’t see the soft smile Geoff gave him.


	3. Chapter 3

Ryan looked around the place, squinting through the darkness. The shitty lighting made spotting anyone rather difficult. However, Ryan’s eyes always found Free. Maybe it was blue he wore on his lips or the charisma he radiated. Ryan didn’t know, but he did know Free was not there. He had to be in his private room, the back rooms, or not in the club at all.

This had never happened before. Free danced at 7pm, then spent an hour with Ryan, then presumably moved on to other customers or dances. Maybe he was sick or he just didn’t want to work. Or maybe he was entertaining someone. Ryan waited for an hour, trying not to fidget anxiously. _He’s not here._

Eventually he stalked over to the counter to ask where the hell he was. Before he could open his mouth, the person interrupted.

“Ah, you’re the mute one, right?” They asked.

_Not exactly._ Ryan nodded.

“Free said you’d come asking for him,” they explained, “Then he left this for you. I have no idea what the hell it means, but there you go.”

They held out a note for Ryan who immediately plucked it from them. He pulled out his wallet and slid some money to them. He signed “Thank you”, the only phrase that was understood by almost anyone.

“No problem, buddy,” they assured him cheerfully. 

Ryan nodded again and left the building quickly before unfolding the note. The message was on the back of a receipt for some reason, scrawled unevenly in blue ink. It was a visual representation of Morse code.

_Mayday mayday mayday_

_In peril_

_Send backup_

_Gavin over and out_

Ryan rubbed at his temple where a headache was forming. _Okay. Free Bird’s name is Gavin. Gavin_ is in trouble. He flipped the receipt over. He frowned at the odd assortment of items. 

_Napkins, 3_

_Naked juice, 4_

_Nos Energy drink, 2_

Ryan stopped reading, realizing the trend. Half the items started with “N”, half with “W”. Gavin had given him coordinates via the quantity of each item. He quickly punched them into his phone and jammed his earpiece in. He hopped on his bike and peeled out, pulling on the mask when he was far enough away from the club to not be seen. 

~

The coordinates led him to an airfield. A tiny rundown one, with only the one dirt runway and more of a shack than a control station. The place was surrounded by dark vehicles and armed men. Some sort of saw was cutting into metal, the squealing sound distinctive as it screamed out from the shack. 

Gavin was inside. Perhaps in some sort of locked up basement or cellar. He quickly counted up the number of goons and assessed that he could cut through them easily. He left his bike across the road and moved quick and quiet towards the goons. He was 3/4th through them before they noticed anything was wrong. More of them rushed out, but Ryan kept up easily. 

He only faltered when he heard a plane engine fire up. His head whipped around to the aircraft. Gavin was in the cockpit. He was turned towards him.

**I’m sorry,** he signed, **good luck.**

Then he was off as Ryan growled his rage. He started hacking through the goons with renewed vigor, knives cutting though them like butter. He didn’t stop until the only movement was his own breathing and postmortem spasms. He and each of the goons were drenched in blood. Ryan was filled with a blinding anger as he stormed away from the corpses to his bike. 

_No one uses the Vagabond as an unsuspecting distraction. You are a dead man walking, whore._


	4. Chapter 4

Ryan stormed through the front door, barely pausing to slam it shut with enough force to shake the whole apartment. He went straight for the weapons room, making a beeline for the cattle prod. He snatched it up, slinging it over his shoulder before picking up a sawed off. _If I shoot him in the legs, it’ll hurt but he won’t die immediately._ He tucked it under his arm as Geoff entered the room.

“Hey, buddy, what’re you gearing up for?” He asked casually.

Ryan plucked a baton from the shelf and expanded it with a click.

“Hunting,” He grunted as he spun it between his fingers.

_Should I break his elbows or his kneecaps?_

“What’s the prey?” Geoff pressed, starting to get nervous.

_Both,_ Ryan decided and he retracted the baton, tucking it away.

“Bluebird,” he finally answered.

He turned fully to face Geoff who looked extremely apprehensive.

“Um, about that...” he muttered, “I can’t let you do that.”

“Oh?” Ryan prompted, voice low.

His eyes narrowed and he walked forward in carefully measured steps until he was looming in front of Geoff.

“And what will you do to stop me?” He questioned calmly, tilting his head slightly.

“Listen, the guy is Burn’s,” Geoff explained, “You can’t kill him.”

Ryan looked down at him a moment, considering.

“Fine, I won’t kill him,” he conceded.

Geoff sighed, rubbing a hand across his face.

“Yeah, alright, that’s on me,” he muttered, “You can’t hurt him either.”

“Do you know what he did?” Ryan growled, leaning towards Geoff’s face.

Geoff raised his eyebrows.

“He fucking tricked me!” Ryan explained, tightly, “He used me as a fucking distraction! He fucking used me, Geoff!”

Geoff blinked up at him a moment as he processed what he said. Then he burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, no way!” He wheezed, “The little bird tricked the Vagabond?! Oh my god, Jack!”

Ryan went red and tried to grab Geoff’s elbow as he rocketed down the hallway to tell Jack. Ryan grunted in annoyance and rushed after him. Geoff dodged his choke hold as Jack popped around the corner.

“Don’t you dare!” Ryan hissed at Geoff, trying to grab him.

Geoff dodged his hands easily.

“Ryan got tricked by the whore!” He shouted gleefully. 

Jack’s eyes went wide and he snorted, trying to stifle laughter. Ryan pulled the cattle prod from his back.

“You’re dead, Ramsey,” he growled.

“Wait, the stripper?” Ray’s voice asked a second before his head popped around the corner, “Blue?”

“I could kill all of you,” Ryan warned, flicking on the cattle prod.

“Cattle prod wouldn’t kill us,” Michael muttered tiredly from behind them, “Can I get through?”

Everyone slid to the side to allow him passage before immediately going back to being assholes.

“Listen, Ry, it happens to the best of us,” Jack tried to calm him down.

“It doesn’t,” Geoff snorted.

Ryan lunged towards him and he easily dodged, seizing the prod in one hand and yanking him forward, sending his free hand into Ryan’s sternum. Ryan gasped, letting go of the rod and Geoff spun it in his hand to point it at Ryan. He flicked it back off.

“Get over yourself, loser,” he grumbled, “You think you wouldn’t do the same if your own survival was at risk? Dumbass.”

Ryan grunted, rubbing his chest.

“It’s not as though none of the rest of us have been embarrassed,” Jack spoke up again, throwing a glare at Geoff, “Even if we don’t want to admit it, we’ve all been tricked. Some of us by people in this room.”

He threw a pointed look at Ray who chuckled nervously. Ryan frowned.

“What did he do?” He asked, confused.

“Well, look at the time!” Ray exclaimed, still laughing nervously, “I definitely have something else to do. That’s not here near any armed assassins.”

Geoff snatched his hood as he started to walk away and hauled him back.

“You haven’t told them?” He snarled, “I made it very clear we don’t tolerate lies.”

“Haa, g-guess I forgot?” Ray offered, “Oops?”

“Michael!” Geoff barked, “Front and center!”

Michael came around the corner with a mug of coffee and glared at him, though his sleepiness weakened the glare a bit. Ryan’s mouth curled into a smile under the mask. _He’s cute when he’s sleepy._

“Ray, spill,” Geoff ordered. 

Ray shifted nervously under everyone’s eyes.

“Um, I may have led you guys to believe something,” he muttered, “So the thing is...I wasn’t one of Joel’s boys. We just, uh, just let people think that.”

There was a pause of silence.

“Is that it?” Michael asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Uh, yeah?” Ray answered, “You’re not mad?”

“Wow, you’ve fucked less people,” Michael muttered, “Big fucking reveal.”

“That explains the quick shots,” Ryan snorted.

“Yeah, actually,” Ray laughed, “I, uh, was technically a virgin.”

Michael turned towards him, eyebrows going up. Ryan scowled. He gave his virginity to Michael. _Damnit. I could never..._ His fist went through the wall, startling everyone, including himself. _Free. I want to see Free._ He yanked his fist from the wall and dropped the sawed off.  He stormed from the building, stomping down the stairs rather than take the elevator.

He smashed through a window and got in. He yanked down the wires, sparking them together in a jerky motion and peeled out. He was halfway to the club by the time he realized Gavin wouldn’t be there. He swerved into an alley and slammed on the brake. He yanked the wires apart and got out of the car.

He expanded the baton and smashed it into the windshield until it was completely destroyed. Then he busted the rest of the windows and the back windshield. Still pissed, he smashed against the body of the car, annoyed the dents were so small. It wasn’t enough. He was still pissed. 

_I’m going to strangle that little brown twink!_

“That’s racist,” he berated himself.

He kicked the nearest tire and grunted in frustration. _Why is he so much better than me?!_ Michael didn’t want his virginity, even if he did still have it. _Not with you,_ he said. Ryan ripped his mask off, scrubbing at his eyes. _Don’t fucking cry, you fucking pussy!_ He stomped against the tire again, trying to choke back the whimper that bubbled up in his throat. 

“Mighty Vagabond,” He sneered, “Tricked by one whore, lost against another. What a fucking joke.”


	5. Chapter 5

Ryan spent a lot of his life pretending not to care. Maybe that was why he was so emotionally stunted. He just tried to push it away. For someone in this business, feelings were nothing but trouble.

The whole reason he never told Michael how he felt was because it was too dangerous to have that weak spot. Then suddenly the whore was there, pulling Michael away and Ryan realized too late that he should’ve tried to claim him.

“That’s creepy,” He grunted.

_Should’ve tried to confess my feelings,_ he amended. Now he had to watch Michael and Ray being happy and pretend like it didn’t matter to him. But would confessing earlier actually have changed the result? Not with you, Michael had said. If he couldn’t have sex with Ryan would he also not want to be romantically involved? 

Ryan pressed the heels of his hands into his closed eyes. _Stop trying to fucking cry! Man the fuck up!_ A phantom whack to the back of his head dried up his tears. He stared down at the city below his feet. Why had he chosen to sit there on the balcony right where he was rejected? This was the worst way to not feel things. 

Suddenly a hand gripped the back of his jacket and yanked him backwards. Taken by surprise, he dropped onto the balcony with a grunt. He groaned a bit at the pain in his back. _Too old._ Gavin’s face appeared above his, filled with worry.

“Bloody hell, that spooked me!” He cried, “Don’t top yourself! Your family would be devastated!”

Ryan blinked up at him.

“Top myself?” He questioned, “What does that mean? Are you speaking English?”

“Kill yourself, wanker,” Gavin answered, annoyed, “Don’t go popping off balconies!”

Ryan scowled.

“I wasn’t going to,” He grunted.

He pulled his feet off the wall and stood up. _Jesus, I am old,_ he thought as he could practically feel his bones creaking. He turned toward Gavin and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closely to his chest. He buried his face in Gavin’s neck and breathed out a sigh of relief.

“You’re...not mad?” Gavin prompted, rubbing his hand over Ryan’s hair.

“I’m mad,” he admitted, “But...it’s okay.”

“Are you just saying that because you want to cuddle me?” Gavin asked flatly.

_Yes? No? Maybe?_ Ryan shrugged. He didn’t know any more. He didn’t know what he wanted. Well, he knew one thing. He wanted to hold Gavin in his arms. He was safe there. 

“Why are you here?” He asked, wanting to steer away from feelings.

“Geoff said I should come apologize,” Gavin explained, “I really wasn’t intending to fool you. I was gonna fight with you, but then I saw your other face and I got scared.”

Ryan sighed. _Of course. Everyone’s afraid of the Vagabond._

“But I had a few days,” Gavin went on, “And I thought if you were gonna bump me off, you’d have done it. And I...missed you.”

Ryan squeezed him closer. _No feelings. Emotions are bad._

“So I rang Geoff,” Gavin finished, “Now I’m here. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

_I’m so glad you’re okay too,_ he refused to admit out loud. He’d been torn between mad and worried the past few days. Though his anger had lessened into an oppressive feeling of despair, so he had that going for him. 

“Let’s go to your room,” Gavin abruptly suggested, “I’m knackered.”

Ryan pulled away and walked around him to lead him to his room. He tried not to think about how he’d gripped Gavin’s hand to avoid breaking contact with him. When they got there, they stripped down to underwear and crawled under the sheets. They were both too exhausted to be embarrassed by the level of nakedness.

Gavin curled up facing him, twisting their legs together. Ryan put his arm over him and pressed him closer until they were touching nearly completely head to foot. Gavin tucked his head under Ryan’s chin and Ryan lifted his other hand to brush through Gavin’s wild sandy hair. _I’m safe here._

_~_

Ryan woke up to Gavin’s shifting and grumbled at him to lie still. Gavin did not do that, instead choosing to shove Ryan onto his back and shimmy down his body.

“‘S bit early, isn’t it?” He mumbled.

Gavin didn’t respond, reaching in Ryan’s boxers to pull his cock out. Ryan slapped him away and staggered to his feet to pee. Jesus, he was still half asleep. After washing his hands he stumbled back into bed, grabbing at Gavin to pull him to his chest. He snuggled his face into Gavin’s hair and smiled. 

“Warm.”

Gavin snorted.

“What’re you all cuddles, no sex?” He grumbled.

“Sleepy,” Ryan whined.

Gavin clicked his tongue.

“Sleep better with you,” Ryan mumbled, fading in and out, “No dreams. Mm.”

“It’s been one night,” Gavin pointed out, “How do you know that for sure?”

Ryan humphed and squeezed him closer. Too much talking, he wanted more sleep.

“Every night is bad,” he grumbled.

Gavin stopped talking and Ryan was finally able to drift back to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_

“Alright!” Ryan shouted, “I’m getting up!”

He untangled himself from Gavin and rolled out of bed. He stormed over to the door and ripped it open. Geoff was there, looking frantic.

“Ry! Did you-?!” He growled.

“Oi! Can it, will ya?!” Gavin interrupted, grumbling.

Geoff’s eyes went wide as he looked between Ryan’s bed and Ryan’s mostly naked body. He relaxed, puffing out a sigh.

“Jesus, I thought for sure you’d killed him,” he muttered.

Ryan rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“Anything else, boss?” He grunted.

“This on the clock or-?” Geoff started, grinning widely.

Ryan slammed the door in his face. He rubbed at his eyes, but he felt way less tired than usual. He got real sleep. He approached the bed to look down at his security blanket whose face was buried in the pillow. 

“Hey, tell me how to convince you to sleep with me every night.”

Gavin turned his head and cracked open one eye.

“This the “no dreams” thing?” He muttered, “The thing you were yappin bout last night?”

Ryan didn’t recall that, but he nodded. Gavin lifted up, stretching and yawning.

“Cook me breakfast,” he mumbled, tiredly, “And I’ll suck your dick too.”

Ryan rolled his eyes and retrieved a set of pjs for him. He lifted his arms up, silently telling Ryan to put the pjs on him. Ryan puffed out an annoyed sigh as he started dressing the guy. He yawned again as Ryan buttoned up the shirt. He smiled sleepily down at him and Ryan’s chest felt tight. _So cute._ He reached up and cupped his jaw. Gavin leaned into his hand and pursed his lips. Ryan chuckled lightly and kissed him. 

“Mm, brush your teeth,” Gavin muttered. 

Ryan laughed and ruffled his already wild hair. Once they were dressed looking some what decent, they made their way to the kitchen. Gavin held his hand, though Ryan’s pj sleeves were in the way of having skin to skin contact. Once they made it, Ryan lifted him by his waist onto one of the breakfast bar stools. 

“Chocolate milk,” he mumbled before he dropped his head into his arms and fell asleep.

Ryan smiled fondly at him before retrieving supplies to make chocolate milk. When he turned around, Michael was hovering near Gavin’s sleeping form, squinting.

“Do I know this kid?” He asked, “Who the hell is this guy?”

“Uh, Gavin,” Ryan answered, hesitatingly.

Gavin’s head popped up at the sound of his name. 

“Mm, blowjob now?” He asked around a yawn.

Ryan blushed.

“N-no Gavin,” he choked, “Say hi to Mogar.”

He gestured to Michael whose eyebrows were up.

“Sup?” Michael greeted, “You’re Free Bird, huh?”

Gavin nodded and gave him a smile.

“Hi to Mogar,” he answered, then dropped his head back down.

Michael looked at Ryan with a tiny smirk, eyebrows up. Ryan pretended to be too focused on making chocolate milk to notice his knowing look. He was in too good a mood to worry about it though. He gave Gavin his chocolate milk tapping his hand to wake him up. Gavin grinned at him and immediately put the straw in his mouth. 

“Pancakes,” he requested around the straw.

“Chocolate chip?” Ryan offered, smiling.

Gavin nodded eagerly and Ryan caressed his cheek fondly. Gavin smiled, still looking sleepy. When Ryan turned around, he was confronted by a crowd of people openly gaping at him. The other four Fake AH members were staring at him like they’d never seen him before. He smiled nervously as he shifted around them to make pancakes. 

“Holy shit, can I fuck the bird too?!” Geoff exclaimed. 

Ryan blushed, but still went for the knife block. He was interrupted before he got there.

“We didn’t fuck,” Gavin corrected, “We just slept.”

“Fuckin sleep in my bed tonight,” Geoff muttered.

As Ryan’s hand closed around the nearest knife handle to threaten Geoff with, he was again interrupted. 

“Sorry, mate, I’m booked up,” Gavin refused, “Vagabond here has my nights now.”

Ryan grinned as he went back to making pancakes. _Who knew getting a good nights sleep would improve mood so drastically?_


	7. Chapter 7

Ryan’s mood drastically improved after a week of sleeping with Gavin. Everything was so safe and warm like he was enveloped by Gavin’s aura. Gavin quickly became his whole world. Quickly became quite proficient at calming him down.

He was often waiting in Ryan’s bedroom when they got back from a particularly heavy mission. He’d help Ryan strip to his underwear and get him in bed before crawling in after him. He was a saint, with patience and care that Ryan had never been shown before.

“I don’t pay you enough,” he muttered as Gavin pulled the blanket around them, “What do you want? I’ll do my best.”

“Silly, you give me enough already,” Gavin dismissed, “You have no idea how little food I ate and how garbage it was. Your breakfasts are life savers.”

Ryan buried his face in Gavin’s hair.

“Are you sure?” He mumbled, “I feel bad, all I do is take from you.”

Gavin’s fingers trailed up Ryan’s arm where it laid over him. Ryan shivered a bit. _Weird feeling._

“Then give me this,” Gavin suggested.

He pushed his ass back against Ryan’s boner. Ryan sucked in a harsh breath. He was trying really hard not to rub his dick on Gavin, but he apparently didn’t try hard enough. Gavin rolled his hips back again and his breathing hitched.

“Come on, V,” he groaned, “You know I want it. Why won’t you just give it to me?!”

“Y-you do?!” Ryan sputtered.

Gavin turned over and shoved Ryan onto his back. He straddled his hips and looked pointedly down at where their cocks rubbed together. Ryan looked down and flushed pink. Gavin was hard. He _did_ want it.

“C-can we th-then?” Ryan muttered, nervously.

Gavin’s eyes were alight and Ryan shivered.

“Fuck you’re adorable,” he growled, leaning down to bite at Ryan’s neck, “Look at you, trembling with how bad you want it. You want me, little pup?”

Ryan nodded a bit frantically, his hands tentatively reaching for Gavin’s waist. _Am I allowed to-?_ Gavin bit hard under his jaw and sucked a mark there. Ryan gasped at the feeling of his skin between Gavin’s teeth. He rocked his hips upward, pushing down on Gavin’s waist to rub their cocks together. He shuddered, a breath of air exhaling sharply from him. 

“G-Gavin, please,” he groaned, “I-I want...”

“What do you want, baby?” Gavin whispered hotly in his ear, “Tell me what you want.”

He ran his hands up Ryan’s bare chest, still kissing and biting at Ryan’s neck. Ryan’s head was whirling. _What do I want?_ His hands ran down Gavin’s hips to his thighs.

“Y-you, I want you,” he breathed, “I w-want to f-feel you.”

He tugged at Gavin’s underwear. 

“Ask nicely,” Gavin ordered, between kisses, “Say “Gavin please can I fuck you”. If you say it pretty enough, I’ll let you.”

Ryan grunted, his body jolting.

“G-Gavin, pl-please...” he moaned, “C-can I f-f-fuck you?”

“Good boy,” Gavin praised.

Ryan let out an obscene noise and his hips thrust up against Gavin who grinned against his neck.

“Oh? You like being a good boy?” Gavin teased, “You want to be my good boy, V? Wanna be good for me?”

Ryan nodded, his head jerking frantically. _Yes, yes, yes, I’ll be good, please!_ Gavin pinched his nipple and Ryan yelped, jerking upwards again. Gavin chuckled lightly and slipped off his lap to drop his underwear and open Ryan’s nightstand. Ryan sat up on his elbows as Gavin tossed lube and a condom onto the bed. Gavin was back on his lap and Ryan dropped back to the bed so he could run his hands up his golden thighs. Gavin picked up the bottle of lube and Ryan moved to take it from him. Gavin raised an eyebrow at him.

“You want to open me up?” He asked, a tiny smile on his lips.

Ryan nodded. Gavin’s small smile widened into a pleased grin.

“Alright, go on then,” He ordered, giving up the bottle, “Be my good boy and open me up nicely.”

Ryan’s hands shook as he warmed lube between his fingers. Before he started, he glanced at Gavin’s cock, standing pretty proudly. He looked up at Gavin who was grinning mischievously at him. _He really does want to?_ Ryan looked back at Gavin’s cock. _That’s...for me? Do I get to...have it?_ Gavin caressed his burning cheek.

“You look like you want something, baby,” He teased, “And you’re pretty frozen in place.”

“C-can I...h-have you in-in my m-mouth?” Ryan asked quietly.

Gavin’s face was bright with delight and arousal. He leaned down and kissed him gently before he shuffled forward, putting his dick where his lips had just been. Ryan was red as he opened his mouth. Gavin leaned over for a better angle.

“Come on, baby, multitask,” He instructed, “Be a good boy and open me up while you have your meal.”

Ryan groaned and shuddered. He was quick to follow the order, sucking around Gavin’s cock as he slipped his finger inside him. Gavin moaned as one hand found purchase in Ryan’s hair. Ryan watched him the best he could from the angle. He was bending so beautifully over Ryan’s face. 

“Ah, g-good boy,” he groaned, “Y-your mouth is s-so good V. Ah!”

Ryan interrupted his ramblings by adding a second finger. Gavin’s thighs trembled around his ears and Ryan struggled to focus. _So pretty._ He sucked again, immediately following it with a hum. Gavin gasped, his hand turning into a fist in Ryan’s hair. 

“O-okay, f-faster with the f-fingers, baby!” He cried, “F-fuck, hurry up!”

Ryan obeyed, trying to quickly but safely open him up while his tongue worked around Gavin’s shaft. The hand that was fisted in the sheets moved to grip the base of his cock and Ryan’s hips jerked. _He’s already close._ Ryan fumbled his free hand to find the condom and took his fingers out of Gavin to open it and roll it on. Gavin eased out of his mouth, groaning as Ryan slicked up his cock. 

His hands were shaking again as Gavin shuffled back into place. Ryan’s clean hand gripped Gavin’s hip and his lubed hand held his own cock. Gavin’s thighs were likewise shaking as he lowered himself onto Ryan’s cock. His eyes were closed, his mouth open, and his face flushed. It took Ryan everything he had not to shove Gavin downwards as the head of his cock entered Gavin. _Hot. Soft. Safe._ Ryan jarred himself out of his trance with that observation. _Safe? What the fuck did that even mean?_

His trance came back as Gavin finished lowering himself, ass now pressed against his hips. Ryan started shivering at the feeling. _Fuck, how long has it been??_ Gavin was squeezing him, though he wasn’t sure it was on purpose. His hand rubbed up Gavin’s thigh as he looked to Gavin for a reaction. He was sitting frozen a moment, his face drawn up, but Ryan couldn’t tell what emotion was there. Finally his eyes opened and he looked down at Ryan with hooded eyelids.

“Good boy,” he purred.

Ryan jerked upwards with a moan. Gavin’s hips drove him back down and he growled in frustration. _I was good! I want my reward now!_

“Look at you,” Gavin taunted, “So impatient. Like a spoiled child. Patience is a virtue, Vagabond.”

“Pl-please!” Ryan whined.

“Please what, baby?” Gavin teased.

“Please daddy, I wanna feel you now please I was good wasn’t I you said I was good please daddy I wanna fuck you I’ll keep being good I promise!”

A tremor ran through Gavin and his hips rolled. 

“H-holy fuck,” he groaned, “D-didn’t see that c-coming.”

Ryan whined impatiently, hips twitching. 

“Alright, my good boy,” Gavin chuckled, “You can fuck me now.”

Ryan’s hips snapped into action, bouncing Gavin upwards. He wrapped his still wet hand around Gavin’s cock and the clean one held Gavin’s hip steady. Gavin met his thrusts halfway, their hips pounding together frantically. Ryan came first, which made him blush crimson, though it made sense. He hadn’t had sex in quite some time. 

He jerked Gavin off onto his chest and belly quickly as his energy was starting to flee with all the tension his body had been holding. They stayed in position as they caught their breath. Ryan weakly reached for tissues and slowly cleaned them up. He tossed the condom and the tissues as Gavin slowly tipped onto his side with a groan.

Ryan pulled him to his chest with a happy sigh and buried his face in Gavin’s neck. _Safe._


	8. Chapter 8

Gavin didn’t sleep with Ryan every night, but Ryan wasn’t bitter about it. Especially since it meant he could avoid talking about The Incident. He was grateful to be having any good nights at all, regardless. Having good nights _ever_ was better than having none at all.

The problem that rose up was that Gavin was getting progressively stressed out over the course of a couple weeks. He’d been clinging to Ryan pretty desperately one night when Ryan finally broke down and talked to him. He just seemed so vulnerable Ryan couldn’t ignore it any more. 

“Gavin, what’s wrong?” He prompted quietly.

“N-nothing...just tired,” Gavin mumbled into his chest.

“Listen, I’m king of “just tired”, so try again,” Ryan grunted, “What’s going on?”

Gavin sighed and tugged at Ryan’s shirt nervously.

“The guy from before is still trying to grab me,” he finally admitted, “I have to slip his men just to come here. Sorry about that. I’m doing my best not to lead then straight to you.”

“Would you like some backup?” Ryan offered, “I could escort you home a few times to scare people off.”

Gavin pulled back a few inches to look in Ryan’s eyes. Ryan blushed under his inspection. He seemed conflicted a moment before answering.

“Okay, I’ll take your help,” Gavin agreed, “You can take me to get food all the time on the way home.”

He grinned widely and Ryan laughed. _Good, he’s looking way more cheerful._ Ryan would have to speak to Geoff, but he was sure it’d be fine. He was helping Gavin after all. Everyone liked him almost as much as Ryan did.

~

“Can’t now,” Geoff muttered, absently, “Need you in Ro for a week, working with FunHaus. I’ll have Michael do it.”

“No!” Ryan shouted, startling himself. 

Geoff finally looked up from his monitor with raised eyebrows. Ryan blushed, but refused to back down

“Can’t you ask Jack instead?!” He demanded.

“No, I can’t,” Geoff answered, “You’re wife-swapping with Michael, get over yourself.”

Ryan squinted at him in confusion. _Wife-swapping?_

“Ray’s going with you, dumbass,” Geoff grunted, “Do you ever listen when I speak?”

“Not if I can help it,” Ryan grumbled, “Why can’t Michael go with Ray?”

“Because they need _you,”_ Geoff answered, glaring, “They need your ability to clear house.”

“Michael can clear out just as good as I can!” Ryan protested.

Geoff slammed his hands on his desk and stood up, fixing Ryan with a cold stare.

“You. Are. Going,” he growled, “This is not a discussion, Vagabond. This is an order.”

Ryan crossed his arms and glared back. 

“And if I refuse?” He questioned, voice deathly quiet.

“Then I’ll kick your ass back to the gutter,” Geoff answered tightly.

Ryan narrowed his eyes at him. 

“You’re bluffing,” he muttered, unsure.

“You want to take that risk, _James?”_ Geoff sneered.

Ryan nearly flinched at the name. He hesitated. His arms fell from crossing to holding himself. He took a step back without meaning to. Geoff was serious. 

“Okay,” Ryan finally said in a tiny voice, “I’m sorry.”

Geoff sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. 

“Ry, that was harsh,” he muttered, “I’m sorry. I just need you to understand that there are reasons I do things, okay? I’m happy you finally found someone you really connect with, but you can’t stay stuck to his side. Especially given the delicate nature of his employment.”

Ryan scowled.

“The what?” He asked, confused.

Geoff winced and looked away. 

“Ah, that’s top secret info,” he explained, “Best wait until he tells you.”

Ryan’s frown deepened, but he didn’t want to push the subject. He turned to leave, sighing heavily. Hopefully Gavin wouldn’t mind too much. 

“Hey, fuck him before you head out Wednesday,” Geoff called, “Or whatever gay shit you did three weeks ago that turned you into an absolute professional.”

Ryan blushed, not turning around to address that. It was true, he’d been better than ever the week following the Incident. He headed down the hall to his room, slamming the door behind him. He pulled off his clothes and tossed them haphazardly into the laundry basket. He pulled on his pjs and curled up around Gavin’s pillow, on Gavin’s side of the bed.

He buried his nose in the fabric. He really didn’t want to talk about the Incident. He was really hoping it was a fluke. The result of being pent up and dealing with emotional trauma poorly. But he was too afraid it’d happen again that he hadn’t tried to initiate anything. What if he said it again? What if _Gavin_ said it? He squeezed the pillow tighter and sighed. Just go to sleep, he urged himself.

~

Geoff: _Yo, Gavvy. SOS, my dude._

To Geoff: _What’s up?_

Geoff: _Vagabond. He’s getting there again._

To Geoff: _I_ d _on’t blame him. Been three weeks._

Geoff: _He’s going out of town Wednesday, I need him in top shape. Oh, by the way, Mogar is going to be escorting you in his stead. He should be texting you shortly._

To Geoff: _Aw, thanks! :D I appreciate the help. Some guys just don’t understand._

Geoff: _Speaking of, you need to tell him._

To Geoff: _I know. I will. Soon._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: physical abuse by a parent, implied abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms

“James!”

Ryan ducked his head.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled automatically.

He heard the whistle of the belt and instinctively put up an arm to block it. The leather wrapped around his wrist, tightening and it was yanked, pulling him forward. He clawed at the belt with his other hand, trying to rip it off. Leather tightened around that wrist too and they were yanked to either side. 

“I’m sorry!” He cried, arms flexing trying to break free, “Pl-please!”

“Are you crying again, James?!”

Ryan shrank from the voice, tugging at the bindings.

“N-no, sir,” he whimpered.

This time he couldn’t protect his face from the belt. The buckle slammed into his cheek. Ryan spat teeth and blood. He squeezed his eyes closed against the tears. _Stop, stop, stop!_

“Look at me, James!”

“N-no! You’re d-dead!” Ryan screamed.

“You really think you could kill me, little boy?!”

The belt buckle smacked against his face again. 

“P-please,” He whimpered, “I’m s-sorry! Pl-please!”

“Look at me!”

Ryan slowly looked up, opening his eyes. He felt so tiny, so vulnerable, so weak. Scorching tears burned down his face.

“Pl-please, daddy, I-I’m sorry!” he sobbed, weakly tugging at the ties, “I-I’m sorry, daddy! I’ll b-be better, I pr-promise!”

Cruel blue eyes stared back at him with only anger and resentment. The belt buckle hit his face again and he cried out.

He jolted awake as a gentle hand touched his cheek. His hand shot out, gripping the hand’s attached wrist and his eyes flew open. Gavin was staring at him with wide eyes. Ryan let go of his wrist and sat up to reach for him. He wrapped his arms around Gavin’s waist and shoved his face in his neck. Gavin wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” He whispered.

He tugged Ryan’s hair free and ran his fingers through it. Ryan shuddered, squeezing closer. He pulled Gavin onto his lap before he relaxed at all. 

“Why’re you here?” He muttered tiredly, “I thought you couldn’t come tonight.”

“Things shifted,” Gavin answered, “I’m so glad I get to see you before you leave.”

Ryan sighed. _Right._ He was leaving the day after tomorrow. Unless it was Tuesday already. He squeezed Gavin tighter to him.

“Don’t wanna,” he mumbled into his skin, “Wanna stay.”

“I know, sweetie,” Gavin soothed, gently kissing his temple, “But it’s only a week.”

Ryan whined and mouthed at Gavin’s neck. His hands smoothed down Gavin’s lower back to his ass and he squeezed roughly. Gavin jolted forward, pushing their crotches together.

“V? A-are you s-sure?” Gavin sputtered.

“Want,” Ryan growled, nipping at Gavin’s neck.

Gavin shivered.

“B-But y-you were-“

“Quiet,” Ryan interrupted.

He turned him, shoving him into the bed and yanked at Gavin’s pants. Gavin quickly helped push his clothes out of the way. Ryan leaned down, licking up Gavin’s cock before sucking a line of hickeys on either thigh. 

He licked up his cock again before sucking the head into his mouth. Gavin groaned, thrusting upwards into his mouth. Ryan surged against the thrust until Gavin’s cock was fully in his throat and mouth. Ryan moaned, his hand going to his own cock. _Fuck._

“J-Jesus, V,” Gavin gasped, “F-fuck your mouth is s-so good.”

Ryan moaned again, rubbing his shaft as he pulled up and pushed back down. _Praise me again._ His eyes flicked up as he swirled his tongue around Gavin. They locked eyes and Ryan sucked. Gavin hissed, jerking up.

“Ah, fuck!” Gavin shouted, “F-fuck! V! H-hurry!”

He tugged at Ryan’s hair and Ryan lifted up to retrieve lube and a condom. His hair fell in his face as he warmed the lube and slipped a finger in him.

“L-Little faster, baby,” Gavin grunted.

Ryan jabbed two more fingers in him more forceful than necessary. Gavin shuddered and groaned.

“F-fuck yes,” he breathed, “Come on, baby. H-harder.”

Ryan gripped one of Gavin’s thighs tightly as he fingered him open. He was shaking, he wanted to fuck him so bad. He curled his fingers, brushing them over Gavin’s prostate. Gavin let out a howl of a moan and gripped the sheets as his back arched upward.

“Vagabond, _now!”_ Gavin barked out the order.

Ryan was quick to obey. Despite his shaky hands, he managed to roll the condom on and slicked himself up without taking long enough to get an impatient sound from Gavin. He manhandled Gavin into position, pushing the back of his thighs, to shove his legs up out of the way. He pushed in slowly, eyes locked on where they were connected. 

“F-fuck,” He hissed as they pressed flush together, “Jesus, Gavin. You feel so good.”

He moaned, swaying over Gavin. He tried to catch his breath as he leaned over and grabbed a pillow. He lifted Gavin and slid the pillow under him. He moved Gavin’s legs into a more natural position and took hold of his hips. His eyes flicked up to Gavin’s.

Gavin was staring at him, eyes dark. His hands were clenched in the bedsheets and Ryan leaned over him to kiss him. He pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Good?” He prompted.

Gavin took a deep, shaky breath as he wrapped his arms around Ryan. He squeezed him, hugging him. He was shaking badly. 

“Gavin, are you okay?” Ryan asked, moving his arms to loop around Gavin and hold him tightly.

“I-I’m okay,” He mumbled, tearfully, “I j-just...I-I’m sc-scared.”

Ryan’s chest squeezed and he pulled Gavin tighter to him, pressing his face into Gavin’s neck.

“Th-the g-guy...h-he...” Gavin tried to explain, choking, “D-did th-things...But h-he...I-I was...”

Ryan shifted, moving to pull out and lay them on their sides. Gavin squeezed him and wrapped his legs tightly around his waist. 

“N-no, pl-please don’t g-go,” he mumbled, tears now openly pouring down his face, “I-I need you.”

Ryan’s eyes welled up with tears. Before he could stop them, they were burning trails down his face. 

“I-I’m here,” he assured him, voice quiet, “I-I’m not going a-anywhere.”

Gavin’s sobs ramped up and he clung desperately to Ryan.

“Pl-please fuck me!” He begged, “I d-don’t wanna th-think any more!”

Ryan choked on his own tears and moved his hips. The movements were awkward with how they held each other, but he didn’t stop. He wanted to give Gavin everything. Whatever he wanted. Whatever he could. _Anything._

Ryan had a bizarre moment of clarity as he felt Gavin’s hands turn into claws on his back. _He’s...like me. Someone hurt him._ His hips drove forward hard and he growled. _I will fucking kill whoever hurt you. I will tear them apart. They will never hurt you again._ He realized too why Gavin reacted the way he did to the small amount of forcefulness Ryan displayed. _I’ll do my best to help you forget._

He shifted to give himself more room to fuck into Gavin with as much of his weight as he could. Gavin groaned, his body relaxing slightly. A fresh wave of tears ran down Ryan’s face. He lost himself in Gavin, built up aggression suddenly pouring into the younger man. _This is not good therapy,_ Ryan thought as they approached their climaxes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try not to get whiplash on this roller coaster. :D

Ryan was grumpy, but otherwise okay as they started the mission. All the tension had left his body when he and Gavin had fucked. He actually hadn’t even dreamed the next night, waking up relaxed and rested even without Gavin in his arms. Of course all the tension came back quickly as Ryan drove towards San Fierro.

He was extremely worried about Gavin. Not that he didn’t trust Michael to protect him, but if Ryan didn’t do something himself, he felt like he couldn’t be assured it would get done right. Worse than that fear was the one that Michael and Gavin would get close. He didn’t like the idea of them working closely together. They were closer in age, probably had similar interests, and both were fucking amazing. It wouldn’t be hard for something to grow there and he honestly didn’t know which one he was more afraid of losing at that point. 

Ray on the other hand was the picture of chill. Ryan wasn’t sure if it was not caring or just being oblivious. Maybe he wasn’t an over-thinker like Ryan. Maybe he had more confidence in being enough for someone. In Ryan’s experience he was never enough. 

Ryan rubbed his chest where Gavin had pressed his face against him the night before last. If he concentrated hard enough, he could still feel Gavin’s warmth. He didn’t want to be away from him. He wanted to spend every waking second with him. It was almost scary how quickly he’d become attached, but it wasn’t a surprise. He’d predicted this. He had a tendency to cling an unhealthy amount.

“You gonna have a heart attack?” Ray suddenly asked, “You’re rubbing your chest pretty hard there.”

Ryan returned his hand to the steering wheel.

“No.”

“You are a sparkling conversationist, my friend,” Ray muttered, “You’ve been off this week, man. What’s up?”

Ryan’s hands tightened on the wheel.

“Gavin.”

Ray gave him time to gather his words up. Ray was the best at communicating with him. He was always patient when Ryan struggled to be verbal and didn’t mind him using sign language.

“He’s in danger,” Ryan finally muttered, “I don’t want to lose him.”

“Ah, anxiety,” Ray mumbled, “That sucks.”

Ryan’s eyebrows raised.

“You have anxiety?” He prompted.

He always looked like he didn’t give a fuck about anything.

“I mean, only every day,” Ray answered, a joking tone to his voice.

Ryan felt a bit bad that he’d assumed things about Ray.

“Ever find anything that helps?” Ryan asked hopefully.

“Michael,” Ray muttered bitterly.

They were silent the rest of the drive. 

~

Ryan dodged a hook, grabbing the throwers arm and twisting him into Ray’s line of sight. A bullet dropped him as Ryan slammed an elbow into someone’s face and a foot into someone’s guts. Another bullet dropped the guts guy and Ryan spun, sending a fist into the face guy. He wobbled sideways and a final bullet dropped him. 

Ryan sighed, rubbing the back of his hand over where blood was dripping down the eyeholes of his mask. Day four and Ryan was tired. At least they were halfway done now. Clearing this gang had been one of his less enjoyable jobs, even if he did enjoy taking down people who were too cocky for their own good. Too many people to kill, no one with any skill. Boring, really. 

“That’s the last here,” Ray muttered in his ear, “Wanna start grabbing wallets and I’ll hit the office?”

“Sure.”

This was their usual plan: kill everyone, take stuff, leave, rinse, repeat. They really didn’t deviate that much from that pattern. Ryan liked working with Ray. Everything was fluid, easy, and he usually didn’t talk in ways that forced Ryan to awkwardly join the conversation. He was great at holding one sided conversations with him. Ryan thought maybe he’d finally lost any bitterness he held towards him for catching Michael’s attention.

“Argh, fuck!” Ray growled into the earpiece, “Fucking ambushing bastard!”

Ryan perked up, looking towards the office. The sounds of a struggle ensued and Ryan jogged over to check it out. He ducked his head into the office to see Ray trying to choke out the “fucking ambushing bastard”. The guy grabbed Ray by the back of his hoodie and hauled him over his head. Ryan surged forward, grabbing Ray around the waist before he landed, yanking him behind him as he fired his gun in the man’s face.

“This because you were worried or you just want to hold me?” Ray joked.

Ryan immediately dropped him with a scoffing noise. They were about finished when Ryan’s phone suddenly rang. _Geoff?_ Ryan raised an eyebrow. Geoff usually waited for him to call.

“Boss?” He greeted.

“Put me on speaker,” Geoff ordered immediately, “I need to talk to both of you.”

“Good to hear from you too,” Ryan grumbled, waving Ray over.

“Yo, you’ve got an R and R Connection, my man,” he greeted.

“Guys, I’ve got some...” Geoff halted, his voice heavy, “I have the worst news.”

Ryan and Ray’s eyes locked, a million fears communicated through that look.

“I...I didn’t want to tell you like this,” Geoff continued, “But I don’t have much choice...Michael and Gavin were en route to Gavin’s place when they were boxed in.”

Ryan’s heart thudded in his chest. _No..._

“They tried to fight them off,” Geoff went on, quieter, “But...they didn’t make it.”

Ryan’s brain stuttered a moment, swaying. Ray’s searching hand found his and they squeezed each other tightly.

“You’re sure?!” Ray demanded. 

“Yes.”

Ryan closed his eyes. _No. No. No._ It couldn’t be true. He took several deep breaths, trying to force down the pain in his chest. He forced his eyes open and locked them with Ray’s. They nodded at each other.

“We’re coming home,” they stated together.

~

The man behind the desk was smaller than he had any right to be. This was the man who’d single-handedly destroyed Ryan’s life? He was shaking and pale, eyes darting between Ryan and Ray. 

“So what do you think, V?” Ray prompted.

**Wow, you really want to make him squirm, yeah?** Ryan offered, tilting his head like he was considering.

“Of course,” Ray answered, “But Boss said alive, not uninjured.”

The guy swallowed at that, shrinking into the chair. Ryan hummed.

**Technically boss said no you do not.**

“Yeah, but he says a lot of things that are really more suggestions,” Ray muttered.

** Ready? **

Ray nodded and Ryan drew a knife. The truth was they’d already decided what to do with him. 

~

“Michael Jones and Gavin Free were two of the best criminals I ever had to deal with.”

Jack’s voice was solemn. Ryan thought he might cry. 

“They were a part of Fake AH,” he continued, “But more importantly, they were family.”

Ray’s hand was squeezing Ryan’s. Ryan squeezed back.

“In our line of work,” Jack went on, “We can’t guarantee what each new day will bring. We can’t guarantee who will fail, who will win, and who will die first. All we can do is find our family, stand together, and hope we can make some good memories before we fall. Michael and Gavin gave us many good memories. Memories we will cherish as much as we cherished them. We will remember them until our own time comes.”

Jack wiped tears from his eyes and stepped away from the podium, lifting a flask.

“To Team Nice Dynamite,” he called, “Rest in peace, lads.”

The crowd tipped back a shot, even Ray and Ryan throwing one back. Ryan relished the burn of the alcohol down his throat. 

_Rest in peace, darlings, you earned it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around. Yes, they are really dead. ^_^’


End file.
